IT IS NEVER TOO LATE
Zabar takes a deep breath and points towards Machhil
“We had exfiltrated from those mountains in 1989. I did not have a job, so the offer to get a gun and one lakh rupees promised by our recruiters, looked attractive..…and yes, the glamour of becoming a local Robinhood was surely there.” He smiles sheepishly.
“I had no ideological affiliation with JKLF. As I said, I was young and unemployed and got attracted by glamour of the gun. The terrorist camp in which we got trained was run by the Pakistan Army. We had a tight schedule to include physical training, firing, religious indoctrination etc. We were told that we had to go back to the Valley and target the security forces and once the conditions were ripe, Pakistani Army would come and Kashmir would become part of Pakistan.”
On being asked about the last part Zabar says in a grim tone- “Yes, certainly, this did enrage me. I thought it was about azaadi but here they were planning to grab Kashmir.” He then looks at his childhood friend Nisar, another surrendered terrorist. Nisar narrates his experiences rather jovially.
“Aaj tak toh aaye nahin who log….” He laughs….then says – “The feeling of Robin Hood was good….we became local heroes….garlanded often ……carried on shoulders…. We used to settle local disputes….we ran the Kangaroo courts, we called the shots…. we were the Messiahs. We collected money from the rich, killed government collaborators….ensured that Kashmiri Pandits left the locality.”
On mention of Pandits, Zabar becomes a bit serious… “Yes, I feel guilty of being part of that tragedy. The day I was ordered to threaten Pandit Dina Nath, my school teacher, to leave Kashmir, I did feel bad. I heard his family reached the refugee camp at Jammu but Pandit Dina Nath was killed when he was coming back to visit his village. He along with many Pandits travelling in a bus were made to dismount and killed in cold blood.”
“Bas, Pandit gaye aur saath khushiyan bhi le gaye….” Nisar says somberly. “Then came the era of foreign terrorists….these guys were brutal. They had nothing to do with azaadi ….they were here for ‘booty’. People relented and it became common for these foreign terrorists to demand bodily pleasures when they visited the villages….and people complied.”
“You know, these foreign terrorists tried to force a Maulvi of Kupwara to pass a decree that it was acceptable for terrorists to establish physical relations with any girl without marriage. The Maulvi refused and was killed.” Nisar reveals an appalling truth.
“Then started the clash of ideologies and the infighting between local and foreign terrorists. Thousands of JKLF boys were killed by foreign terrorists. I guess, this is when people understood that what had started as a dream of azaadi was always a sinister design of Pakistan to usurp Kashmir.” Zabar explains.
“Both of us had to hide in the jungles for many days to save ourselves from the foreign terrorists. We had a choice to changeover to another tanzeem but we decided to surrender.” Nisar tells.
“Why surrender?” Zabar pauses…. “Well firstly, the glamour of the gun had evaporated. We realized that it was not the real respect people had for us…it was the fear of gun. We also realized that we had a short life span as terrorists and will get killed anyhow.”
“The life was not going anywhere and the whole thing looked futile. After all the killings and bloodshed if we had to merge with Pakistan, what was the use of it? These Pakistani terrorists looked down upon us; we were just means to their end. They were in my homeland and trying to kill me…..this was a startling revelation.” Nisar adds.
“In my case, it was when my father refused to see me as a terrorist that I decided to surrender.” Zabar says. “Many others too laid down arms. One of our friends who too is a surrendered terrorist says that with no money and having to literally beg villagers for food, his inner conscience asked him to lay down the gun.”
“We thank Allah for the right guidance….” Zabar adds as he approaches his motorcycle. His jovial friend adds – “Life has been good after that. We both got married after surrendering and our worlds changed. We had inhibitions that we will be looked down upon but that is not the case. People understand that times were different…circumstances were different. Of course our past actions sometimes do petrify us but we ask forgiveness from Allah every time we pray.”
“I see Pandit Dina Naths in my dreams….that is the most dreadful thing that happens with me.” Zabar confides.
The duo rides away towards the Jamia Masjid for Friday prayers. They will have to fight their own demons but repentance is half way through they say…. So it is never too late to make amends….Allah is merciful.
