MY FIRST RAMADAN
Ever since my conscience has grown and I’ve started to understand things around me, I see a month that comes every year when the environment around me just changes. I see my father staying up at home for a longer part of the day, my family members waking up early to eat and drink and avoiding the same for the rest of the day and then eagerly waiting for the evening to refill their empty stomachs . I’ve been hearing the stories of the importance of this holy month ‘Ramadan’ since my childhood. This month has a special aura of its own. The preparations for the same commence much earlier than the actual arrival of the month. Obviously I’m talking about the mental preparations.
I always had this huge excitement about keeping Roza when I used to see my family members especially my siblings keeping it, up until I kept the first ever roza of my life. I always thought that I could fight the day through and survive till evening very easily but I never knew that it could be this tough. Fully excited and eagerly awaiting for first ever Roza, I woke up on my mothers first call and so that is what I thought. It actually took her 15 minutes to get me out of my super cozy blanket which was covering every inch of my body. In Kashmir, it really is a daunting task to wake up at 0330 in the morning when the temperatures around you are low and can send a chill in your bones. But as I was super excited, I was immediately up and about. After the morning Fazr, the first namaz of the day, I ate my sehri and I kept on eating till I was full uptil my throat. While I was stuffing my already full tummy with sehri, I forgot about the most important thing, water. After my sehri, I again went to sleep.
It was on that day I realised that the body digests more when it is asleep for when I woke up I felt hungry again. By then it was already past 10 but I still had miles to go before I reach iftaar time. The question was how to pass my time and not think about food and water while ensuring that I don’t exhaust myself physically. Listening to songs, watching movies is forbidden during this holy month and obviously I did not want to go out to play as I wanted to conserve every ounce of my energy. So I found spending time talking with my siblings as the best pastime but that too had to end. That day it seemed the clock had slowed its ticking and it was taking its own sweet time to tick. I rechecked the time on my watch but there was no measurable difference in the timings. So I again went back to my room and laid myself down gazing at the ceiling of the roof.
Then came the afternoon and we did zuhar (Duhr), afternoon’s namaz, and I again went back to my place. Seeing me lying like that, my mother inquired if I was hungry and thirsty and if in case I wanted to eat something. But as it was my first ever roza, I wanted to come out as a strong boy and wanted to prove that it wasn’t that difficult as my siblings had made it sound to me. I only can tell how difficult was it for me but I replied ‘I am good ma and not at all hungry’. I wanted her to ask me once again and offer me something to eat but she didn’t.
That day I did only one thing ‘nothing’ but I was happy that I could survive till evening. The arrival of my father from work with fruits and dates really watered my mouth but I didn’t let anyone realize what sounds my stomach made that day and how badly I wanted a sip of water. But I resisted myself and even abstained myself from watching TV. That day I realized how important food and water is for survival and the plight of a poor person who finds it difficult to afford even a single meal in a day. I realized how difficult was it to abstain oneself from things one likes to do. I realized the power of will, the strength one gets when one has faith in something, the limits of a body and the essence of life. It was a hard day but a day that definitely taught me a lot, a day that definitely made me a shade stronger.
Finally it was Iftaar time and we broke our Roza with dates and water. What a relief it was. Suddenly I felt live again, I felt energetic and strong. I was elated to realise that I completed my first ever Roza so perfectly. But then the other realisation hit me that it was just the first Roza, and I had miles to go before Eid.
